You Stopped Reading This Because It Got Too Political
I don't like talking about politics.
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I don't like talking about politics.
Greg, this post is dedicated to you.
It's a free internet and you can do whatever you damn well please on your social media. You don't have to listen to me; you can continue annoying anyone who hasn't finally just gotten around to unfollowing you yet.
As a certified Young Person, the internet has tons of advice for me, all of it neatly packed in list form: “X Number of Things I Should See/Do/Achieve Before I’m X Age.
I have body issues. Not the make yourself puke kind, or the only eat five almonds a day kind or the have to go to rehab kind—the normal kind. The living in a perpetual state of wanting to lose five-to-10 pounds kind, the "I couldn't wear that" kind, the counting calories kind.
Kids these days, am I right? Where do they get off changing the sacred English language with their generationally specific terms? After all, we all know that language hasn’t evolved since the beginning of time. That’s why we’ve all been communicating via crudely drawn cave paintings and putting an “e” at the end of “old” up until this exact moment in history.
Like an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, the following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event.
Almost a year ago, I graduated from college. Now my Facebook and Twitter feeds are a-brimmin' with sentimental posts from this year's seniors. Before you guys get too depressed, though, I have some unsolicited reassurance and life advice to offer you.
It's that time of year, where, once again, I marvel at how one woman can play approximately 2,034,185 characters so distinctly that I consistently forget one actress is portraying all of them. Clone Club is back, y'all! Spoilers for Orphan Black, season four, episode one lay ahead.
And now, for my latest (and belatedest) binge watch: House of Cards, season four. As per usual, there are big spoilers within.
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